Kids these days don’t know what’s scary. Every year the theatres are flooded with horror and slasher movies, but none of them are really scary. Some are even downright ridiculous: How many “Final Destinations” can there be?
It’s October and a perfect time to explore some spooky movies to set the tone for Halloween. By and large, the current crop of horror movies aren’t really scary just gory and startling at best. I thought I’d jump in the way back machine for a classic of the genre.
Adult readers will be familiar with 1976’s “The Omen” but I doubt this current generation of movie goers will have an inkling of the true horror that is presented in this dark tale of the antichrist born in modern times. How could today’s horror films compare to Gregory Peck and not just a possessed child but the actual son of Satan himself? Cherry Coke in hand I sat down to refresh my mind on what is truly horrifying.
I was sorely disappointed.
Gregory Peck plays Robert Thorn, the United States ambassador to Great Britain. He and his wife lose their first child during childbirth. As the film opens Thorn is talking to an unnamed priest in a Roman church. Thorn is wrought with grief and claims his wife will be destroyed when she finds out their child didn’t make it through birth. The priest has this handled. He just so happens to have an orphan child that has no parents, no family and nowhere to go. No one will ever need to know. Distraught, Thorn agrees with the ole baby switch-a-roo and manages to get the newborn orphan back to the hospital in time to fool even his wife, Katherine Thorn (Lee Remick.)
I set aside this strange occurrence that the mother of a child doesn’t recognize a baby swap when she sees one. I guess it’s just a sign of the times, assuming the mother was heavily dosed into not even being present for her own child’s birth. I don’t dwell on this and neither does the film.
We’re whisked five years into the future and young Damien is just a dream child, in a dream life of this privileged couple. We see a nice montage fitting for young lovers as the Thorns walk through their England estate, little Damien in tow. As the montage carries on the child is missing but the Thorns are blissfully unaware. It’s not a real surprise though as we’ve already seen how Kathrerine handles Damien like some piece of clothing that can just be handed off to a servant when he doesn’t quite match her purse or her mood.
Meanwhile Robert Thorn is confronted by a crazed priest, Father Brennan (Patrick Troughton). Father Brennan forcefully tells the ambassador his child is the son of Satan and Thorn must accept Christ in his life if he is to ever defeat his own child. I’m not sure how I’d bear this news to a U.S. Ambassador much less any other person. But I probably wouldn’t leave the office ranting “Drink his blood!”
The Thorns begin to notice strange behavior and incidents around their home and child. Not the least of which is a nanny stealing the show at Damien’s birthday party. The events that take place do pack a certain creep factor. However any element of suspense and fear is quickly eroded by the effortless stupidity in which the Thorns handle any given situation. Robert Thorn lets the new nanny walk all over him and Katherine Thorn can’t make her own decisions to save her life. She even asks her husband’s permission to see a therapist when she starts getting the-uh oh feeling from her own son.
It’s been years since I’ve seen this film. I refused to watch the 2006 remake, believing there could be no competition with the original. I had expected there to be the dated aspect of the film: Bell-bottoms and feathered hair combined with schlocky music of the era. But I can look past that if indeed the film retained the fright-fest I remembered. I expected the movie to be dated. What I didn’t expect was horrendous dialogue and perhaps the most stupid couple of film characters I’ve ever encountered outside of an Adam Sandler film.
This is monumentally unfortunate because the premise of the movie is chilling to the core. How would you react if you were given this news? Your child, adopted or not, is going to bring about Armageddon and only you have the power to stop him. There are a few tense moments in the film and the idea behind the story is really where the terror lies.
Unfortunately I couldn’t find any real scares to be had in this horror classic. So much dumb goes on between the main characters that I ended up just wishing that Damien would get on with it and take over the world already.
It’s with a heavy heart that I say this classic does not live up to the memories. I’m contemplating watching the remake now. Perhaps the characters will use some common sense when confronting a terrible five year old. Perhaps not.
Kids these days. You don’t know how good you’ve got it.
The Omen (1976)
Director: Richard Donner
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| 2 out of 5 tyrannical toddler tricycles |
Runtime:111 Minutes
Rated R
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