A musical and genetic mishap in a cult film wrapper

On a normal day, “Movies You May Have Missed” is my chance to find forgotten and passed over films that I think deserve a broader audience. Today however this column will hopefully serve as a warning.

The film I’m about to review was recommended by someone close to me, someone who shares many of my own opinions on films, art and entertainment in general. I was shocked at the outcome of my acquiescence to watch this travesty. If this can happen to me, it could possibly happen to you. So consider this your warning, an intervention if you will. The following film should not be viewed by anyone...and here’s why.

In 1975 a strange film came about called “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” It was ludicrous, silly, low-budget but ultimately charming enough to become an overwhelming cult hit. In 2008 director Darren Lynn Bousman tried to replicate that success with his own horror/musical “Repo! The Genetic Opera.” Bousman tried and failed miserably.

This science fiction rock-opera horror hybrid starts with a preposterous story about a massive organ failure epidemic that turns into a financial windfall for an organ donor company called GeneCo. GeneCo somehow saves the world by producing organs for all the people who are dying. Inexplicably new organs become some kind of weird trend and people the world over sign up for elective organ transplants. Of course all this organ swapping costs money and, as seen in the unfortunate housing market crash, people sometimes can’t pay their bills. So GeneCo. is allowed to send out a repo-man to collect the organs people can’t pay for, killing them in the process. Makes sense right?

Underneath this ridiculous premise is a story of GeneCo’s founder, Rotti Largo (Paul Sorvino). Rotti is dying but his children are twisted wrecks of humanity and he doesn’t want to leave his empire to any of them so he begins a plan to get even with Nathan (Anthony Head), the man who stole his one-time girlfriend, and leave the company to Nathan’s daughter — that will show him!

As mind-bendingly dumb as that sounds for a story you’ve got to remember this is an opera, which means singing. Oh so much singing. Musicals have seen a resurgence lately and I’m all for it. But when every single line of the movie is sung it’s really just pushing the genre too far. I’d forgive even that if the songs and dialogue of the film had some merit. Alas “Repo” sounds as though it was written by a sociopathic ninth-grader that spends way too much time watching horror films and hanging out at Hot-Topic. There are no catchy songs, nothing to stick in your head, just a hedonistic display of unbelievable people doing unbelievable things in an unbelievable setting.

So the nauseating music and the pond-scum story play out across a stylized future meant to resemble Ridley Scott’s brilliant “Blade Runner.” Everyone dresses in gothic attire for no apparent reason other than because it looks cool — or tries to. It’s over the top and full of gruesome gore and mutilations for the sake of gore and mutilations.

It seems so bad that even most of the actors realize it as well. While watching Paul Sorvino sing what is supposed to be dialogue I could see him dying a little inside. His eyes displayed a sort of resigning to inevitable doom. Anthony Head, on the other hand, as Nathan believes he’s in a very serious piece and chews up every song, scene and second of his time on screen. But it gets better! Paris Hilton even gets a chance to shine in this debacle. Hilton plays Rotti Largo’s daughter, Amber Sweet. It’s a delightful stretch for Hilton as she plays the spoiled daughter of a very powerful man. And she gets to sing about it.

I’ve heard people say this film is original and daring. If they mean its original to dare to be this bad they may be right. So I urge you to hear my plea. If your friend recommends this movie to you refuse. And maybe you should take your friend to the doctor. Just remember organ transplants can lead to painful repossession. Or worse mind-numbingly stupid singing.



REPO! The Genetic Opera (2008)

Stars: Paul Sorvino, Anthony Head, Paris Hilton and Alexa Vega

Director: Darren Lynn Bousman

Runtime: 98 minutes
Rated R for strong bloody violence and gore, language, some drug and sexual content

A film and band falling short of greatness

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After Thanksgiving Dinner with the family I went to visit some friends. We spent the evening browsing through their extensive vinyl record collection. It was a curious investigation in the lost art form of album art and a fun trip down memory lane.

The records that called loudest to me through the fog of yesteryear were the music of my youth. I’d remembered rushing home with the large cardboard and vinyl recording under my arm to the living-room record player – I only had a cassette tape deck in my room. I’d examine the album art, dissect the lyrics and immerse myself in the new sounds of 1980s modern rock. At the best times the ritual became not solitary but a social event with my childhood friends. We’d all gather around and absorb the familiar scratch, hiss and popping exclusive to vinyl recordings buried beneath the latest and greatest musical offerings.

There’s a moment early in 2007’s “Control” when Ian Curtis (Sam Riley) brings home the latest David Bowie record that replicates my experiences completely. Ian and two other friends sit quietly and listen to the new music as if it’s divine directive. Their rapt attention is shot in somber black and white. We see the smallness of their world giving way to a much greater realization brought on by musical exploration. It’s an intimate scene very close to my own youth. Unfortunately it’s about as close as the film ever comes to emotional resonance.

This comes as an incredible disappointment for me. The film is a biopic of Ian Curtis, frontman for one of my favorite bands of the early ‘80s, “Joy Division.” The lyrics, unique bass lines and Curtis’ haunting voice all combined to make “Joy Division” an intensely emotional band. I couldn’t help but feel not just the instrumentation but the ache and pull of the vocals of each song.

Fans of the group will know that Ian Curtis didn’t make it long in the music industry, having tragically taken his own life in May of 1980. “Control” tells the story of Curtis in his early years and the formation of the band and his eventual departure and it sadly does this in a way that lacks any of the essence that made “Joy Division’s” music so influential.

The film is not a total loss. The music is thankfully not recreated by the actors themselves but actual recordings of the band and it’s every bit as powerful today as it was when I had first heard it.

Riley as Curtis is a dead-ringer – no pun intended – for his real-life counterpart. His enigmatic stage antics and quiet yet forceful personality provide the roadmap for every dark and brooding musical frontman for years to follow.  Riley handles his performance incredibly well even coaxing sympathy from the viewer though the script and story indicate he may not deserve any.

More credit should be given to Samantha Morton who plays Curtis’ childhood love and later wife, Debbie Curtis. As Ian’s band rises in success and the inevitable attraction of female groupies begin to threaten the marriage Debbie remains a rock. Morton’s portrayal of someone hopelessly in love yet tragically abandoned is immensely powerful. If this was not a true story and Ian Curtis was not a famous artist I could easily see the focal point of the story being Debbie as the jilted lover. It might make a better film.

Curtis’ band mates aren’t given much time to develop into personalities or characters on their own – a strange sleight given that the surviving members did move on to become “New Order” and have a much more successful music career. We see really only enough of them to know they are there as they try to cope with the spiraling downfall of their friend and vocalist.

As an informative look into the history of one of my favorite bands “Control” fills in the blanks, dots the “i”s and crosses the “t”s. The music is as moving now as it was then but it’s not enough to elevate the film to success. The final song in the film happened to be my favorite from the band, “Atmosphere.” It’s an emotional ending that gave a taste of what the whole fim could have been. Like “Joy Division” itself, “Control” has the elements of greatness, but it falls tragically short.

Control (2007)

Director: Anton Corbijn

2 and a half vinyl discs of memories out of 5

Starring: Sam Riley, Samantha Morton and Craig Parkinson

Runtime: 122 minutes

Rated R for language and brief sexuality

Raunchy comedy isn’t just for Americans

Foreign films are sometimes hard to jump into with both feet. There’s a stigma with the masses fearing subtitles. I find that a great many people don’t want to read a movie and the only other option is dubbed dialogue. If done right, dubbing can be nearly flawless. Far too often it’s abysmal. Another hurdle is the perceived overly artsy content of some of the more popular foreign films. Fans of “Transformers” and “The 40 Year Old Virgin” are probably not going to want to sink their teeth into Krzysztof Kieslowski’s “Three Colors” trilogy.

2010’s Danish language “Klown” challenges these notions with furious and reckless abandon. It’s an unintentional fight against the misperceived idea of the stuffy foreign film. Nonetheless as I watched this raunchy and thoroughly ridiculous comedy the these thoughts were at the forefront of my mind.

“Klown” is the story of dimwitted Frank, his misogynistic friend Casper, and 12-year old nephew, Bo. The trio gather together under less than ideal circumstances and embark on a canoe vacation down a picturesque Danish river. 

At it’s core, “Klown” follows the well-travelled tradition of road trip comedies. Frank is a bumbling buffoon. He accepts everything at a sort of bizarre face-value. Casper, conversely is a shark of a man. He’s slick and knows all the tricks to get what he wants out of life. Casper seems to keep Frank around as a friend simply for amusement. When Frank’s girlfriend reveals she’s pregnant he figures he’s got to step up and prove he can be a great father. His course of action is to kidnap his nephew and drag him along with Casper on their already planned weekend of debauchery camping trip. I don’t want to give any more details away about why things happen in the film the way they do. Revealing virtually anything about the story and the almost implausible reasons things happen in this intentional comedic travesty would just ruin the jaw-dropping surprises.

As the film progresses we don’t get the feeling that Frank learns anything really. Casper certainly does not grow as a person. We do see that Frank is an earnest and caring fellow, however. His intentions seem to eventually fall into the right place. It’s his way of getting there that is so hilariously questionable if not endeering.

That being said, the film treads on ridiculously crude subject matter. Though it’s a road trip movie with a 12-year old as a major character it’s certainly not acceptable for younger audiences.

In the states we’ve been treated to an ever increasing onslaught of gross-out-humor that’s in your face and crudely hysterical. But “Klown” reveals it’s childish heart subtly under the American viewer’s radar. What sets this Danish film apart is its almost reality TV like cinematography and the casual yet super believable actions of Frank and Casper. Many times during the film I felt I was watching a documentary about some really, horribly misbehaved and hilariously stupid people.

It’s difficult to judge the performance of the actors. Frank (Frank Hvam) and Casper (Casper Christensen) are unknown to me. I’m not sure what kind of career or reputation they have in Denmark. They do seem utterly believable though. Perhaps some comic timing isn’t quite as easily perceived as the subtitles kind of unavoidably create a separation. Ultimately their anonymity works in the film’s favor as we don’t expect the levels of depravity they’ll stoop to. If this were an American film, I could picture Vince Vaughn as Casper and maybe John C. Riley as Frank. But the casting alone of an American version would just give a little too much away. “Klown” really shines in the unexpected breaking of conventions and shatters the foreign film mistyque. The film is available on Netflix instant streaming and though “Klown” is not for the faint of heart, it’s a worthwhile comedy that just might change your mind about foreign films.

Klown (2010)

Director: Mikkel Nørgaard

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Three out of five collectable bottle caps.

Starring: Frank Hvam, Casper Christensen and Marcuz Jess Petersen.

Runtime: 89 minutes

Rated R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity, language and some drug use.

A dark comedy with a buttery finish

If you’re anything like me, you’ve likely wondered what goes through the mind of butter sculptors. You know the artistic idols of dairy goodness I’m referring to. Though the butter sculptures are largely a staple of state fairs to the east, you’ve all seen or heard of these strange creations, these creamy salutes to the nation’s dairy-land. But who are the creators of these cholesterol crammed creations?

The 2011 film “Butter” doesn’t try to answer these questions in a realistic manner. The film uses the butter carving competitions as a backdrop for a tale of orphans, adulterers, prostitutes and political hopefuls.

Laura (Jennifer Garner) and Bob Pickler (Ty Burrell) are the reigning king and queen of the butter sculpting world. Laura sees her husband’s carving talents as her foot in the door for bigger and better things. Somehow she sees the success from Bob’s butter art as a possible road to the Whitehouse. So when Bob is asked to step down from the annual competition after 14 years of straight victories to “Give someone else a shot” Laura sees her dreams dashed.

Destiny (Yara Shahidi) is an orphan who’s spent her life hopping from one foster home to the next. When she lands in the caring hands of Ethan (Rob Corddry) and Jill (Alicia Silverstone) Julie she realizes she’s never been anywhere long enough to know much about herself. She finds joy in butter sculpting and, with the encouragement of her foster parents, enters the local competition for the state fair.

Meanwhile Laura has decided just because her husband cannot enter the competition doesn’t mean she can’t. And thus the butter-carving dynasty remains in the Pickler name. This of course this puts her at odds with the young and disadvantaged Destiny. Laura plays for keeps and doesn’t back down from the title when she realizes her competition is only 10-years old.

Throw into this mix Bob Pickler’s affair with a stripper named Brooke (Olivia Wilde), Laura’s extramarital dalliances with ex-beau Boyd (Hugh Jackman) and Destiny’s quest to find her real parents and the simple butter competition becomes an exercise in darkly comedic disaster.

At least that’s the goal of “Butter,” but it never quite hits the mark, nor does it find a solid identity. At times it’s the sweet tale of Destiny trying to fit in as an African American orphan in a very white world. At other times it attempts to satirize Middle-America and state fairs and the butter carving competition. There’s an undertone of dark humor to the whole film, but despite its buttery subject matter, not a whole lot to sink your teeth into.

 Jennifer Garner’s Laura is a despicable shrew of a woman. Her step-daughter looks to stripper Brooke as more of a role model. Brooke, in turn, doesn’t want much to do with the Pickler family unless money is involved. It’s clear Bob Pickler doesn’t really care for his wife and she doesn’t care for him. We know Laura is sticking by her man because she plans to use his status as political clout, but why is Bob staying with her?

Conversely, Rob Corddry as Ethan actually gets to prove there’s more to him than is usually portrayed in Judd Aptow films. He’s a knight in white-bread armor to Destiny as she struggles to make her home. Alicia Silverstone does little else but chew on her bottom lip in that pouty clueless way that made her famous. Still, Ethan and Julie don’t have to do much to look great when compared with the Picklers.

The questions aren’t really addressed and no bold statement is made when the film comes to a close. The laughs are subtle and far between. As a whole “Butter” is an awkward situation that’s doesn’t really cover any distinct subject matter with any clarity. It doesn’t pack the laughs in and doesn’t resonate as even a cult classic. It’s mildly amusing and both sweet and salty, kind of like butter itself.

 

Butter (2011)

Director: Jim Field Smith

2 and a half out of 5 cubes of sculpting material

Starring: Jennifer Garner, Yara Shahidi, Rob Corddry, 

Alicia Silverstone, Olivia Wilde and Ty Burrell

Rated Rated R for language and sexual content

Runtime: 90 Minutes

Armchair philosopher brings the family together

I’m not a very goal oriented guy. That being said one goal I’m happy to say I’ve achieved is moving out of my parents’ house.

I know that’s not exactly aiming high, but it seems more and more folks are “living at home.” I’m closer to 40 now than I ever thought possible — I was sure aging would slow down — and when I say living at home I mean my own home. Yet to many, for whatever reason, home is the basement of their parents’ house.

That’s the situation of Jeff (Jason Segel) in 2012’s “Jeff, Who Lives at Home.” As the film opens we see 30-year old Jeff alone in his mother’s Baton Rouge basement. He records insightful philosophy from the privacy of his bathroom on an out-of-date tape recorder. He watches infomercials and partially believes they might just actually be directed at him. Jeff believes there’s a pattern to life and an interconnectedness to all things. His one goal is not to leave home but to figure out what this interconnected universe wants from him. It’s a daunting task that has him essentially saddled to his couch.

A miss-dialed number awakes him from his near catatonia. The caller is looking for someone named Kevin. Jeff assumes there are no wrong numbers and begins his search for his own destiny, or that of Kevin’s. When Jeff’s mother,  Sharon (Susan Sarandon) tasks Jeff with actually leaving the house to acquire something from the Home Depot Jeff’s investigation into the mystery of Kevin becomes an expedition.

Along the way we are introduced to Jeff’s older brother, Pat (Ed Helms) who is in the middle of a rocky relationship with his wife Linda (Judy Greer). Pat’s solution to reignite the fire in his dwindling relationship is to buy a Porsche. Aside from this seemingly impulsive move on Pat’s part he’s the responsible one. He’s got a job, and an apartment and now keys to a brand new Porsche. Oddly enough he’s perhaps more directionless and lost than his stay-at-home brother.

The two brothers meet up accidentally. Jeff’s philosophy of interconnectedness bashes into Pat’s passive aggressive nihilism. The two have unresolved issues that we learn overlap into even their mother’s life. Their lives, though previously separate become deeply entwined in a sequence of serendipitous events that will shape the lives of the family forever.

Jason Segel’s Jeff is the kind of guy you wouldn’t loan money to. You’d know you’d never get a return on your investment. However he exudes a genuine naivety and sweetness that would almost make you fork over some cash anyway. Pat, conversely will most likely pay you back but he’s such an insufferable fool you’d hide your wallet when he comes to visit.

The two play off each other in a surprisingly warm manner. We can believe they are brothers and we can see something has driven a wedge into the family and that wedge might just be the thing that holds Jeff hostage in his mother’s basement.

“Jeff, Who Lives at Home” is billed as a comedy, but there are few laugh out loud moments. It does have a certain charm though that kept a smile on my face throughout Jeff and Pat’s awkward adventure together. More importantly the story of the fractured family is delicately and artfully assembled into a quite touching whole. Strange coincidences move the plot forward and leave us wondering is Jeff really as out of touch as he seems or is there really something to his Zen-like philosophy of life. I’m not moving in with my dad to devote all my energy into discovering if Jeff is right, but in quiet moments to myself I might just believe we’re all connected in some dazzling and unsuspecting way.

3-and-a-half out of 5 bottles of wood glue

Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2012)
Starring: Jason Segel, Ed Helms, Susan Sarandon and Judy Greer
Directors: Jay and Mark Duplass
Runtime: 83 minutes
Rated R for language including sexual references and some drug use.

As the world ends, the good things shine

The Christmas before my mother passed away was perhaps the hardest time for me. I remember shopping for a gift for her knowing that she’d have limited time to enjoy whatever it was I found for her. There came a nihilistic feeling of dread, an overwhelming sense of nothing really matters. We all knew she was sick and wouldn’t be with us for very long. What was she going to do with yet another Christmas gift?

This same feeling of dread permeates Dodge’s life in the 2012 film “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.” Dodge, played by Steve Carell, knows like the rest of the world knows, the world is going to end in less than a month’s time. The cause of this coming apocalypse is not the point of the story, suffice it to say a large asteroid is on a collision course with the Earth. No time is spent on heroics and slow-motion shots of brave men boarding a space-shuttle in a last ditch effort to save mankind. The conclusion is set in stone. What matters and what the film is about is how we spend our last moments together.

“Seeking a Friend” depicts a presumably realistic take on the myriad of End-of-world scenarios playing about. Before wanton rioting and violence breaks out people still go about their last days, some cling to their routines, their jobs and family life. Some break out into hedonistic exercises  and partake in what would normally be considered taboo. Dodge’s wife leaves him without a word. She just up and runs away from their car while waiting at a stoplight. This puts Dodge in an even more distressed state of affairs.

His friends try setting him up with another single friend but Dodge fails to see the point behind it all. Why bother spending any time getting to know anyone? It’s a valid question I think at this point. We see Dodge still go through the pointless steps of his life as he slowly quiets the world around him by drinking copious amounts of cough syrup with codeine.

So far this sounds like a pretty dreadful film doesn’t it? I mean according to some famous South American calendar makers we are all in the same boat as Dodge. Why would we want to spend our last days watching such a depressing film. What’s surprising about “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” is it’s not a total downer. Dodge does find a meaning and reason to go on through Earth’s last days. He makes a friend in his neighbor Penny (Keira Knightly) and together they embark on a hilarious and sentimental adventure.

Steve Carell is an entirely different character here than his more famous role from “The Office” or any other of his more mainstream comic choices. His despair is palpable and his everyman persona allows the audience to easily slip into his place. I was surprised and moved by Carell’s performance on more than one occasion throughout the film.

Less inspiring is Keira Knightly’s Penny. The quirky and irreverent girl that dances to the beat of her own drummer character seems pretty tired at this point. There were moments in the film when I could imagine writer/director Lorene Scafaria instructing Knightly: “ok, now, be cute!”

Nonetheless perhaps Penny, or someone like her, is exactly what Dodge needed to pry himself away from the doldrums of life’s final days.

That Christmas I found the only thing I could give my mother for the holiday was something I knew she’d find beautiful. My mom was in love with the south west. I found her a wooden box carved with south western artwork and a fun and frivolous lizard relief. It sounds strange I know, but its what she liked. “Seeking a Friend” does just that as well. For the people clinging to the last days of all we’ll ever know the only value to be found is in beauty of love, of friendship of the good things that shine out over the darknesses. Even in the darkest moments there is beauty in the things that will always hold value: Love, Family and Friendship.

3 and a half airplanes out of 5

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)

Director: Lorene Scafaria

Starring: Steve Carell, Keira Knightly, Connie Britton

Rated R for language including sexual references, some drug use and brief violence

Runtime: 101 Minutes

Bill Cunningham finds his Calling

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Few are lucky enough to find the one thing that makes them happy, the one thing in the world that makes you whole, that fills in the blanks. It’s a rarity to know that one driving force that gets you out of bed in the morning with gleeful exuberance. What that one thing is varies. For some it could be the love of the fabled soul mate. For others it could be painting, writing, riding horses or driving a motorcycle. For Bill Cunningham it’s the people and fashions of New York.

Bill Cunningham is a photographer for the New York Times and the subject of the 2010 documentary “Bill Cunningham New York.” Cunningham is an 83 year-old veteran of the fashion scene in New York City. He’s quirky and independent and one hundred percent devoted to his life’s passion.

The film explores Cunningham’s life and daily schedule as he rides his bicycle through the busy streets of the Big Apple. Clad in a modest blue workman’s smock, Cunningham spots the secret trends of the fashion world and highlights the brilliant creativity in the individuals walking through through the skyscraper framed streets of the bustling city. His shots are compiled and combined with a column on the trends in the city. It’s a process that starts for him at the break of dawn and carries him through to the midnight hour and beyond.

For those like myself who can hardly match my socks this obsession with fashion can seem bewildering. But the film is careful to illustrate the importance the subject holds to Cunningham and his peers. Cunningham explains why he thinks fashion is so important and whether you agree with him or not, you can tell he believes it. What’s more, countless peers of Cunningham come forward to praise his work and his keen eye for the next big thing. The film records his adoring fans and builds Cunningham into a pillar in his community.

Meanwhile, Cunningham himself remains humble and grateful. Not grateful for the praise he receives, but grateful he can be doing what drives him to a sense of completeness. His passion shows in his work and his relations with his contemporaries and colleagues. His humility presents himself from his near-impoverished home to his insistence that he’s not a great photographer at all. Cunningham claims he doesn’t really think he’s an artist, he’s an observer, a chronicler of the city that never sleeps.

The film does what few documentaries do. It gets out of it’s own way and lets its subject tell his own story. It lets us form our own opinions about the fashion industry and the strange cast of characters in Cunningham’s life. “Bill Cunningham New York” does not preach about the grandeur of the man. It shows us through interviews and candid scenes of Cunningham in action. Rather than trying to make a grand statement about some social situation or cultural icon, the film simply introduces us to a charming and peculiar man.

He’s a man I’d love to work with. There are scenes with him working with the layout designer for the New York Times that actually made me wish I was in the chair behind the computer in the designer’s place. It’s rare to find that one thing that fills your world with purpose, I think it’s rarer to be able to work with someone that has such completion and drive.

I really enjoyed the documentary not because of a subject matter that I could identify with, nor a gripping twist of events or social significance. I enjoyed the film because I enjoyed Cunningham. He’s an adorable and fascinating man, icon and artist. Though he’d never admit to it.

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3 and a half cameras out of five

Bill Cunningham New York (2010)

Director: Richard Press

Starring: Bill Cunningham

Runtime: 84 minutes

Not Rated

Two lost souls meet on islands unto themselves

The dire state of the economy has dominated the recent presidential election. Many of us have found ourselves on hard times, perhaps victims of foreclosures or lost in a sea of job-market doldrums. In such a state, it’s easy to find our selves in the shoes of the protagonist of “Castaway on the Moon.”

Kim Seung-geun (Jung Jae-young) is a man on the edge. Literally. As the 2009 South Korean film opens Seung-geun stands on the edge of a bridge overlooking the Han River. He places a final call to one of his creditors and gets the clarification he needs. His $75,000 loan has now turned into a $210,000 debt. He’s lost his job and his girlfriend. Seung-geun has nothing left to live for. So he throws himself from the bridge into the river beneath him.

Imagine his surprise when he finds himself washed up on the shore of a small island in the middle of the river. He is still within sight of the city, in fact it’s really just a short swim away. However Seung-geun’s failures in life include a failure to ever learn to swim. He’s stranded on a trash strewn preserve island. The freeway crosses over his “deserted island” but there’s no way for him to scale the concrete pylons and climb away to the safety of the civilized world he so badly tried to escape forever.

What follows is not the standard castaway film. Sprinkled with natural comic elements and an upbeat contemporary jazzy score, we see the story of Kim Seung-geun as a man ready to throw it all away redeemed by a sudden new-found love of isolation. His sand-scrawled plea “Help” changes to “Hello” as Seung-geun finds his desperate situation becoming more peaceful and preferred to the credit-card filled rat-race of modern living.

Kim Seung-geun is not alone in his isolation however. About the third of the way through the film we are introduced to a different kind of castaway.  Kim Jung-yeon (Jung Ryeo-won) is a young woman shut away in a room of her parent’s home. She fears the outside world and masquerades as multiple different people through fake personae on the internet. She follows a strict ritual on a daily basis, including 10,000 steps on her pedometer each day and a strictly regimented calorie diet. The curtains in her trash cluttered room only open at night when she spies through the telephoto lens of her camera to pursue her “hobby:” photos of the moon.

From her sheltered and secure cave-like room Jung-yeon sees Seung-geun’s message on the beach through her telephoto lens. She thinks he’s an alien come to learn about the human race. In her defense, Seung-geun’s antics seem extraterrestrial enough, especially when viewed from such a distance through the lens of a camera.

What follows is the most peculiar, charming and romantic pen-pal love affair I’ve ever seen put to film. I am ashamed to admit I feel I’ve already given away too much of this film. I didn’t have a clue what I was getting into when I first selected it from the Netflix instant queue. It was a recommendation from my daughter and with few exceptions I find her opinion is one I can trust. At least when it comes to films.

The introduction of the female Kim ­– as she’s listed in the credits – was an entirely unexpected turn in the not-so-standard castaway film. One man’s comic struggles for survival became the story of two unlikely souls meeting in the most unusual of ways.

I couldn’t help but be reminded of Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s 2001 “Amelie”- one of my all-time favorite films. “Castaway on the Moon” has just the right amount of fantastic creativity, heart and charm as “Amelie.” The films share enough quirky genetics to be distant cousins. However where the French film seems to rely heavily on the quirk and dream-painted Parisian cityscapes, “Castaway” resides mostly in the here and now. The South Korean film has an almost more meaningful gravitas due largely to the sympathetic and near tragic nature of its two leads.

If your situation is anything like Kim Seung-geun’s at the start of this film I strongly recommend catching this delightful, inspiring and charming feature. Like the “male Kim” of this story, you may just find there is always something to live for even if that something comes from the most unsuspected of places in the most unlikely of times.

Four and a half out of 5 Motorcycle helmets.

Castaway on the Moon (2009)

Director: Hey-jun Lee

Starring: Jung Jae-young and Jung Ryeo-won

Not Rated

Runtime: 116 minutes

A terrible child for the season of scares

A few weeks ago I reviewed a horror classic, 1979’s “The Omen.” I was upset when I found it fell short from the memories I had of the much praised film. Though the film didn’t quite hold up to today’s standards I praised it for the story. If you missed that column here’s the nutshell premise of “The Omen”: A couple is shocked to discover their child is none other than the son of Satan himself. Chaos ensues.

This week I found a more modern take on a similar story in 2011’s “We need to talk about Kevin.” Though any supernatural trappings are absent from this film what is presented on screen is a far more horrific and terrifying manifestation of what can only considered evil in the form of a young child.

“We need to talk about Kevin” stars Tilda Swinton as Eva, the wife of John C. Reilly’s Franklin and mother of Kevin (portrayed by three actors varying from toddler to teen; Rock Duer, Jasper Newell, and Ezra Miller.)

From Kevin’s birth we see Eva stricken with a bout of post partum depression. As her son grows we see there is a strange gap of love between mother and son. Eva blames herself for this inadequacy of motherhood but soon it becomes clear Kevin is not very loveable at all in the first place.

Kevin’s faults are harmless at first. His late or reluctance in potty training is clearly not the mark of a bad seed. But as the story progresses we see Kevin is not just a stubborn child but a maliciously manipulative child. Husband Franklin sees none of this behavior as Kevin reserves his heinous acts for his mother alone.

Eventually, as Kevin ages, his attitude and vile boils to new levels. The child’s acts of rebellion become violent and treacherous. This is all exacerbated by the introduction of a new child between Eva and Franklin, Celia (Ashley Gerasimovich).

The story is told through Eva’s point of view and it’s told in a jarring non-chronological way. The film begins near the end and colorful yet confusing flashbacks stutter-step us through the story. I found the film almost too distracting in its curious narration to complete until about a third of the way in. Thankfully the story began to progress more logically with only the occasional flash-forwards to modern day as the meat of the tale unfolded.

Tilda Swinton held the role well, however and cleverly kept me wondering what had happened in her life that had reduced her to the state we first see her in at the film’s opening. As the movie settled down and the truth of the story began in a more traditional manner she was believable as a mother in an impossible situation.

Of the children cast as Kevin the teenaged Ezra Miller gets the most grit out of the role. He does what he’s supposed to do and he does it terrifyingly well. Miller is a modern-day Eddie Hascall to his father and a super-charged sadistic child when alone with his mother. Only Eva knows the depths of his depravity.

I understand director Lynne Ramsay’s goal to assemble the film in such a twisted mix-mash way. Much more tension is generated by the mystery presented at the film’s beginning than if the story had just progressed from beginning, middle to the tragic end. However it was rather uncomfortable to watch. The story and the acting do pay off and it’s worth it to stick with the film through to the end.

The film strikes a peculiar place in that it ranks up amongst the must-see films of the day, however due to it’s peculiar filmmaking or perhaps the subject matter itself, I feel I don’t need to see this movie ever again. Nonetheless, as a member of the horrible children genre of horror movies “Kevin” out scares “The Omen” and is certainly more bad than “The Bad Seed.” As the Halloween scare season comes to a close I recommend the film. Young Kevin is certainly a child to talk about.

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

3 out of 5 Ominous sounding sprinklers

Director: Lynne Ramsay

Starring: Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilly and Ezra Miller

Rated R for disturbing violence and behavior, some sexuality and language.

Runtime: 112 Minutes

Work in Progress

I. Love.Werewolves

Windows 8, and things to come

A friend commented on what he considers the ugliness of Windows 8. Personally I like it, but I also like the way the UI works and can see beyond what it is now. Windows OS are frequently hacked and re-skinned to suit the user. I imagine Win8 will be no exception. So with that. I submit a quick mock up of what I'd like to see for the New OS....or something close to this anyway.

Here's what the Windows 8 start screen looks like now for comparison.

Rocky times three

I’ve never been a sports fan. For nearly my entire life I just couldn’t care which team was in the Super Series or the World Bowl or any other professional athletic bout. But lately I’ve caught a few games of the San Francisco Giants in their fight for the championship. Thus when I sat down to view a movie for this week’s column I decided I’d do something different – I’d watch a sports movie.

While scrolling through the Netflix instant streaming queue I found a 2011 film called “Warrior” starring Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte and Joel Edgerton. Most sports movies appeal to me about as much as watching the real thing does. For instance “Field of Dreams” may be the penultimate of baseball movies, but it bored me to tears. But movies about fighters, that’s a completely different story.

I remember watching “Rocky” with my father at a very early age. I loved everything about “the Italian Stallion.” After “Rocky” was over dad would get on his knees and play box with me. Only I wasn’t playing. I distinctly remember giving Pop at least two bloody noses while he somehow never laid a finger on me. Only years later did I realize my Dad was a saint and just took my pint-sized smacks to his face all in fun. I was no boxing virtuoso. Dad was just patient.

The characters in “Warrior” however, are virtuosos. The two brothers: Tommy (Tom Hardy) and Brendan (Joel Edgerton) were raised under the oppressive fist of their alcoholic father Paddy (Nick Nolte.) The film sees the brothers each struggling with their own past and their father’s shadow while each joins a mixed martial arts championship tournament.

Brendan is a high-school physics teacher who has fallen on hard times. The bank informs him his home is about to be repossessed. Brendan takes to fighting – a career he once dabbled in prior to his academic life, marriage and children – to try to earn enough money to keep his home. When the MMA tournament “Sparta” is announced with its five million dollar purse Brendan feels he has no choice but to give it his all.

Tommy is another story. Tommy confronts his abusive alcoholic father, Paddy after years of being out of each-others’ lives. Paddy is now proudly nearly 1000-days sober and wants a chance to reconnect with his son. Tommy doesn’t buy the remarkable conversion of his father asking: “Do people like you have 24 steps or just the usual 12?” Yet surprisingly Tommy – a once aspiring wrestler – seeks his father’s help in coaching him to fight in “Sparta” as well.

We don’t know Tommy’s motivations till very late in the film but as the two estranged brothers get closer to their goal and closer to a title bout we know they are going to meet in the ring and only one will walk away with the prize money.

In a way “Warrior” is little different than any other underdog sports movie or fighting film like “The Karate Kid” or the aforementioned “Rocky.” But writer/director Gavin O’Connor ducks when we think he should be weaving. With a feint to the left O’Connor jabs a triple combo story of redemption, brotherhood and forgiveness right under our best defenses. We’re not watching just one contender with a heart of gold try for his shot at the title, we see three different men in their own individual yet related epic battles.

Brendan’s story is possibly the most pedestrian of the three. We want him to win because he’s a good man, loves his wife and kids and has fallen on ubiquitous hard times. Where “Warrior” triumphs is in not just telling us that Brendan is worthy of the prize but by showing us as well.

Tommy’s story is not only the struggle for the title but also that of a mystery. His motives and past aren’t as clear cut as Brendan’s. We aren’t really given a clear picture of why he’s doing what he’s doing until near the end of the film. Piece by piece larger parts of who Tommy is and what he’s been through are made known to both us and his father.

Nick Nolte as the recovering alcoholic Paddy may not seem to be such a stretch for the veteran actor but I’ve never seen him feel a role more than here. Nolte’s Paddy is a man built up of thousands of bricks of shame and regret. As a father and husband he was more than a failure he was a bloody knuckled tyrant. His path is not against trained fighters in a cage but against his own past, his own deeds and his late realized desire to be the man he always should have been. It’s no surprise he is listening to an audio book recording of Melville’s Moby Dick throughout the film.

“Warrior” mixes these three stories together in another deft sleight of hand so that we don’t even realize there’s really so much going on. But you do feel the emotional punches of the story as three solid characters are brought together at last in a cage-match fight to end all fights.

I was moved to tears on more than one occasion throughout the film, and no not tears of boredom (I’m calling you out Kevin Costner). “Warrior” is a powerful story about three very different people from the same home rising to challenge the greatest odds. It’s much more than a “sports movie”, it’s a champion in its own right.

Warrior (2011)

Director: Gavin O’Connor

4 1/2 out of 5 Mixed Martial Arts Masters

Starring: Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte and Joel Edgerton

Runtime: 140 minutes

Rated PG 13 for sequences of intense mixed martial arts fighting, some language and thematic material

Revisiting a Halloween horror classic

Kids these days don’t know what’s scary. Every year the theatres are flooded with horror and slasher movies, but none of them are really scary. Some are even downright ridiculous: How many “Final Destinations” can there be? 

It’s October and a perfect time to explore some spooky movies to set the tone for Halloween. By and large, the current crop of horror movies aren’t really scary just gory and startling at best. I thought I’d jump in the way back machine for a classic of the genre.

Adult readers will be familiar with 1976’s “The Omen” but I doubt this current generation of movie goers will have an inkling of the true horror that is presented in this dark tale of the antichrist born in modern times. How could today’s horror films compare to Gregory Peck and not just a possessed child but the actual son of Satan himself? Cherry Coke in hand I sat down to refresh my mind on what is truly horrifying.

I was sorely disappointed.

Gregory Peck plays Robert Thorn, the United States ambassador to Great Britain. He and his wife lose their first child during childbirth. As the film opens Thorn is talking to an unnamed priest in a Roman church. Thorn is wrought with grief and claims his wife will be destroyed when she finds out their child didn’t make it through birth. The priest has this handled. He just so happens to have an orphan child that has no parents, no family and nowhere to go. No one will ever need to know. Distraught, Thorn agrees with the ole baby switch-a-roo and manages to get the newborn orphan back to the hospital in time to fool even his wife, Katherine Thorn (Lee Remick.)

 I set aside this strange occurrence that the mother of a child doesn’t recognize a baby swap when she sees one. I guess it’s just a sign of the times, assuming the mother was heavily dosed into not even being present for her own child’s birth. I don’t dwell on this and neither does the film.

We’re whisked five years into the future and young Damien is just a dream child, in a dream life of this privileged couple. We see a nice montage fitting for young lovers as the Thorns walk through their England estate, little Damien in tow. As the montage carries on the child is missing but the Thorns are blissfully unaware. It’s not a real surprise though as we’ve already seen how Kathrerine handles Damien like some piece of clothing that can just be handed off to a servant when he doesn’t quite match her purse or her mood.

Meanwhile Robert Thorn is confronted by a crazed priest, Father Brennan (Patrick Troughton). Father Brennan forcefully tells the ambassador his child is the son of Satan and Thorn must accept Christ in his life if he is to ever defeat his own child. I’m not sure how I’d bear this news to a U.S. Ambassador much less any other person. But I probably wouldn’t leave the office ranting “Drink his blood!”

The Thorns begin to notice strange behavior and incidents around their home and child. Not the least of which is a nanny stealing the show at Damien’s birthday party. The events that take place do pack a certain creep factor. However any element of suspense and fear is quickly eroded by the effortless stupidity in which the Thorns handle any given situation. Robert Thorn lets the new nanny walk all over him and Katherine Thorn can’t make her own decisions to save her life. She even asks her husband’s permission to see a therapist when she starts getting the-uh oh feeling from her own son.

It’s been years since I’ve seen this film. I refused to watch the 2006 remake, believing there could be no competition with the original. I had expected there to be the dated aspect of the film: Bell-bottoms and feathered hair combined with schlocky music of the era. But I can look past that if indeed the film retained the fright-fest I remembered. I expected the movie to be dated. What I didn’t expect was horrendous dialogue and perhaps the most stupid couple of film characters I’ve ever encountered outside of an Adam Sandler film.

This is monumentally unfortunate because the premise of the movie is chilling to the core. How would you react if you were given this news? Your child, adopted or not, is going to bring about Armageddon and only you have the power to stop him. There are a few tense moments in the film and the idea behind the story is really where the terror lies. 

Unfortunately I couldn’t find any real scares to be had in this horror classic. So much dumb goes on between the main characters that I ended up just wishing that Damien would get on with it and take over the world already.

It’s with a heavy heart that I say this classic does not live up to the memories. I’m contemplating watching the remake now. Perhaps the characters will use some common sense when confronting a terrible five year old. Perhaps not.

Kids these days. You don’t know how good you’ve got it.

The Omen (1976)
Director: Richard Donner

2 out of 5 tyrannical toddler tricycles

Staring: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick and Harvey Stephens
Runtime:111 Minutes
Rated R